Dear Jared

This is the letter that I will never send. First I would like to apologize for the things that I’ve done and the person that I’m not. I’m sorry I have a hard time respecting you. That I sometimes challenge your authority and I don’t like listening to you. I’m sorry that I’m sloppy and I occasionally cry. You don’t believe in crying because it is a weakness.

                I also need to forgive you. Forgive you for leaving me. Forgive you for calling me the mistake that forced you into marrying my mother. I need to forgive you for the names you call me, the bruises you leave, and the emotional scars. I need to let go of the time you refused to come visit me in the hospital. The one you work at. You were only two floors away and didn’t want to see me. I was scared and hurt and I needed a father.

                I needed a father on every first day of school when a father sends their child off with their blessing and a hug. I needed you on my second day of high school when I heard the news that my little sister was diagnosed with cancer. I needed you to provide me with food and necessities when you and mom were tending to her. That neglect forced me into having to find a job, live with other people, sneak an apple into my pocket at Wal-mart just to eat.

                I want to stay angry at you. I want to never speak to you again. But I know that if I do I will never be at peace. I know the memories you left me with will haunt me more than it will affect you because you don’t care. So I will forgive you but I can’t forget how you crippled me.